Honestly today was hard, its like ‘sweet your getting married big woop’ but it was that it stands for that made it so hard, it hurt like stinging nettle (that also happened today, not fun). I am super stoked to have Nicola and Jeremy back in Christchurch I’ve missed them hard out! I almost forgot about how well we get along and I love reminiscing on our crazy childhood memories. It has also been quality having some rad chats with Grandma about everything under sun; she has some amazing stories and has been hilarious in the build up to this wedding. I really didn’t think this whole thing would bug me, I was pretty wrong. Stoked I got a job at Christian superstore I start in two days! 2011 has not had any where near enough thought as it should have in my mind, I decided that if I had to make some new years resolutions they would be;
-Do what ever God says
-Spend quality time with God
-Spend quality time with all my family
-Make this year count
-Just be real
-Be 100%
Kind of random but those things are huge for me. Having all these sweet chats with Grandma has made me realise how much I am like my Dad, which unfortunately is not a good thing. Some of the things he did flipping shock me to the bone like hard out. Stealing your Mums mini cooper and your Dads savings stash and running off to Nelson from Christchurch and dying your hair white, crazy. As a ‘Hinman’ there is a few things I have inherited but refuse to accept. Spell check tells me I am meant to say ‘there is a few…’ I wanted to say ‘there are a few…’ but I listened to spell check. True story.
1. Running away from problems and not dealing with them, or even simply just running away (which I have already done enough for one lifetime).
2. Being scared of commitment.
3. Turning gray at an early age.
I think I just like writing lists, sad. Over the past few years I have made some seriously dumb decisions, there is nothing profound to follow this I am just saying. Not many people probably know the real Benjamin Hinman, I am normally so guarded and just put up a face or lie, but 2011 new years resolution #5 is what I’m going to do! Last year, I chose to miss my brothers 21st birthday party. What. A. Douche. I can’t believe I did that! I’ve always known what I wanted to do with my life (it always changes, but there has always been something). I wanted to be a dump truck driver, a teacher, a principal, a pastor, a rock star, an entrepreneur, an inventor, a business owner, a director, an actor, and an architect. Now I am not too sure, its not my call though (2011 new years resolution #1). I use too many brackets! On Wednesday my Aunty Ruth told me she had had a prophecy for me a few weeks earlier and was just waiting for the right time to tell me so she scurried off to find these two pieces of paper. It was just like God had sat down and written a letter to me, and I was honestly blown away because it was so real and relevant, changed my life for real. I used to think coffee, good weather and music were Gods best creations but I was oh so very very wrong (spell check says “Delete repeated word” but I say “no, stuff you spell check, its for dramatic effect!”) Love is, then people. 1 month ago, if God said to me “Benny I want you to give up music completely” I would have probably shunned it and said, “Devil get behind me” but now I get it. For ages I had my priorities so wrong but now I truly understand that above ALL else God desires to have an intimate relationship with you and me. If you just read that and thought to your self ‘hahahahaha shot bro… that’s kind of the whole idea’ I say back to you, don’t judge.
I’m keen for my tattoo now it has been four years.
I am not going to waste another second of my life.
That is all.
